There are two methods of effectively telling a tall-tale. The first is to hit the listener smack-dab in the eardrums with the pure, unadulterated, phony facts. This method avails you the pleasure of watching the fingers of disbelief push his eyebrows upward and twist his mouth into all sorts of amusing contortions. However, by using this method you run the risk of permanently damaging your reputation for veracity, and thereby losing your audience a little at a time.

With the second method, if the tale is too tall you may cause it to appear much shorter by using the charming effects that are always produced by the rhythm of rhyme. This ploy coddles the listener into not much caring whether or not the tale is true. He just enjoys it.

Since the following tales are much too tall to be received with any measure of belief, the latter method of presentation has been selected. You may enjoy yourself simply, or simply enjoy yourself. In either case, you'll find the tales much shorter than if presented in any other fashion.

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